It would be so awesome if every one registered to vote and then makes every effort to vote next November!!!

I miss days past when people around me were outraged over public immorality and immoral business practices.  I geuss what I really miss is people working together for common goals that benefit us all.  I do not get a sense of this from most people within my domain.

Some Americans work very hard at being “good” citizens. 

 Do you think this is really true today?

I think the USA today is a facing a dire crossroad that will move us either closer to our needs or we will allow a leader to be chosen who does not have the majority of Americans best interests in their plan. 

We will end up making a pretty damn good choice or we will screw it up and choose another self serving money driven sell out like the one present now calling the shots.  The wrong choice will only end up fleecing the public and feathering there own nest and the nest of there chosen cohorts

DAMN IT  pEople,

take the appropriate time and

CHOOSE WISELY!

Our government claims to want healthy (my meaning of healthy encompasses these three components – physical, emotional and pyschological) citizens  YET THEY DO LITTLE TO ENSURE THIS OUTCOME.

examples:  Society expects it’s citizens to abide by laws  vs. society’s lack of conviction through education and walking the talk of this expectation. 

I am not expressing myself as clearly as I had hoped or as clear as it is to me inside my thoughts.  Let me attack this point another way.

In my life I have felt an enormous pressure by my parents, teachers and all the others who have crossed my path to conform to certain “standards”, the problem I found personally and I see it in the lives of others is that we are all expected to somehow rise to this certain LEVEL, shall we say which represents a full functioning, law abiding, law respecting, citizen and you are expected to find a means to pay for your “support” as you live, unless of course there are other factors at play preventing this.  But for the sake of my argument I will only be speaking in the ideal of people who have all the potentials present to evolve into a “good citizen”.

We want people to know right from wrong, yet as a society we do nothing to ensure this from the beginning.  We allow families huge latitudes in rearing with no support, no education, no preparation (yes, I agree there are some physical supports but very little for emotional or pychological) standards to be met, no clear cut initiatives to instill the same moral values across the board to all new citizens.  This realm is left hazy and unstructured left up to the family themselves to navigate through.  Some families have evolved well, there belief structures are strong and they are able to model this strength and commitment to their offspring which in turn gives them rise to grow but other families in America are not so lucky.  They have been mired down in abuse, addictions, deceit, which in turn makes the focus of there family one of secrecy, denial, usually dishonesty must be present to keep the negative behaviors working.  You cannot openly abuse or commit negative actions on children now without some fear of repercussions so this mandates that families still afflicted with these burdens must deceive and hide to enable their way of life to continue. Clearly these families mired down historically in deceit, racism, preying upon, manipulation of others, stealing, lying, cheating, any and all these negative life circumstances really have little incentive to change coupled by the fact that they have no idea how to achieve a want outside the family dynamic or create something they have never experienced for themselves.  They become most adept at reliving and re-inventing the same “life” that was familiar to them. Change can be frightening and seem insurmountable.  Yet with a structured methodology, a plan that allows for human flaws, a specific initiative to move away from that could change much in peoples live.  It is always easy for ”outsiders” to look in on these families and only see the superficial, preferring to believe that if they just tried harder, if they just believed in God, if they just loved themselves, IT IS NOT ABOUT THAT FOR MOST OF THESE VICTIMS within these types of families.  From young ages, these children become indoctrinated through various ways dependent on the particular family dynamic, and until some tumultuous event eclispses their lives, they are incapable of leaving a past without a clear path and support on that path to a new and different future.  Just being told it is good, it is right, it is the LAW is not enough motivation for years of opposite teachings.  There must be much more involved with having, building and maintaining a family if society expects ANY good from it’s majority of citizens.  This is not provided for adequately by any means.  Yet the expectation is enormous from our schools, governments and our fellow citizens who have clear paths.  They continue to judge and mitigate from there stellar perspectives, using there understandings when this will achieve very little.  The cure must come from within the torn families themselves for the effects to be biting and effective.  Just like an addict must first come to terms with their own addiction BEFORE they could ever hope to control it, so must the dysfunctional family unit still massively present here in America today, own up to it existence and destruction.  I do not blame for the past damage, I look to learn from it. I seek to initiate and motivate for serious changes in our basic fabric as Americans.  We need to support families and education more than any other ideal in this country today.  That should be the most important aspects of all of our lives.  We need strong family units, who will ultimately provide strong citizens educated to move forward in more aspects of their lives than than finding a way to make a living.  These people in these families need acceptance, support and they need mentoring from those stronger to help them redevelop themselves away from the negative family dynamics present.  Most of the blame lies within us all collectively as a “society” and our lack of concern, lack of commitment, lack of dollars used.  Just like EDUCATION in America, we relegate family life and child rearing to the winds of chance. (You know, I have heard it said a zillion times, “some people are born lucky, some people get all the luck”). This is poppycock nonsense, while there is some credence to statistics and odds and such, this in my opinion does not apply.  We just choose to let some things go, we do not include all, we do not live where we embrace one another’s sucess seeing our own success from it, we divide and conquer, we judge and characterize, dehumanizing people(families) who just don’t fit.  Homosexuals is a great example, and I have my own opinion about this, but regardless of my opinion, I choose to let others make their own choices as long as those choices do not directly impact me negatively.  I choose to believe that we are responsible for our own choices and with that responsibility comes ACCEPTANCE of the consequences that might ensue.  So many people I have met and known claim to be responsible for their actions, but the truth is when that responsibility is called into question they DO NOT ACCEPT their role.  They work diligently against acceptance of there choices.  This must STOP IF WE WANT THE WORLD TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!!! 

     Intolerance, hatred, violence are some of the present consequences in our lives today but again, the ones doing the hating committing these acts will still have to face what they choose and what consequences will come to them.  I would rather choose from tolerance, compassion, support, comraderie and so forth.  Wouldn’t you?  Live and let live is my creed, yet within this there must be a viable plan, a collective goal that allows for all types of personalities to manifest and bear positive fruits from its soul; seeing and knowing the value of living with honesty, compassion, awareness of the impact we have on those around us, awareness that we can change because we think, we reason, we create and we destroy. 

 THINK, REASON, CREATE, DESTROY

    These 4 truths about mankind is the single most powerful tool on the planet Earth we have to making our world what we really dream about.   We do not have strong open honest sexuality in this country, we only deal with ideals of sex and love on the surface peppered with scientific knowledge that is allowed so we can be ”healthy” but no across the board acceptance of our sexual nature as normal natural, our suppression of this, by this suppression we are telling each other it is not really valued, even though underneath sex is highly valued.  We do not as a society make that value known openly as good, normal, happy, life sustaining, we allow it to remain hidden, secret, dirty, you know what I mean, but this suppression is what gives rise to and substance to all the perversions attached to our sexuality. Let me just state I am not so naive to believe if sex ed was embraced and we could all come out of our closets and deal with human sexuality honestly, sensibly and openly compassionate we would respect ourselves more immediately, but over time this 180 degree turn would foster the seeds for such a thing to evolve and pornography in all of is many forms would not have a leg to stand on.  There will always be a black market mentality for some, some who never conform, some who will always take the road not chosen or used, even if that road is covered with pitfalls and dangers there will always be human souls willing to take those risks at the expense of others and this is the soul in our cosmos that needs re-education.

Mentally Ill,  that is what some people tell me I am because I have problems accepting certain situations in this world. 

I say BULLSHIT!  

 What I am is intolerant!!!   I CANNOT TOLERATE:

ALCHOLICS -   this addiction has brought much destruction in my life,(and I suspect yours too) encompassing physical, mentally and emotionally. Them not me,  were the drinkers, my parents, friends, lovers, the people I needed for love and support, let me down and left me in the cold.    

RACISM -

I DO NOT SEE COLOR WHEN I AM WITH YOU, WHEN I MEET YOU, WORK WITH YOU, GET TO KNOW YOU, VALUE YOU AS A PERSON, I SEE ONLY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING LIKE MYSELF!!

America and Americans are basically VERY RACIST PEOPLE!!!!!!

wHAT DID SHE SAY?  Yea u heard me, probably even you, are some of the worst racists on the planet.  White racists, black racists, teenager racists, hell we even have children racists in this country.  Americans show bias in almost every action we take in this country on every level from children on up.  What we are biased ABOUT is the changing face.  Race, sexual orientation, gender are good examples for now.  Yea I know you say we have laws against that, SO FUCKING WHAT, we have laws against a lot of bad things but the bottom line of reality is laws do not make people abide by them.  I do not believe enforcement from the get go is the answer to people abiding either.  I believe you have to find the way through awareness and honesty of the true value of laws and there real purpose.  Most people will defy laws today for many reasons but I think all those reasons can be boiled down into just a few core reasons.  One being, people do not understand fully or accept their own responsibility for themselves or the actions they take upon others or influence others.  For these denialists, laws are for other people, not them.  Also these types of people will immediately rush to use the law ONLY when in their favor, spouting how important laws really are, blah, blah blah, but let them be on the recieving end and there tune changes beat, tempo and stratosphere.  I cannot stand to live with these selfish self serving assholes!!!!!  

Mental Health, what the hell is that and who gets to decide who has it and who does not.  If I do not believe your beliefs and do not live my life according to society’s “norm” then I am told that I am NOT mentally healthy.  The US government is the most mentally unstable process in action in our country today.  Let just take a minute to look at what goes on in our government at the same time the government is asking it’s “people” to become “GOOD” citizens.  

1.  Balancing  a budget – our current adminsitration for 8 years now has destroyed the budget and sunk the American people into a deep pit of debt and dependence, just like the fringes of society out there, incapable of their day to day management, our collective government reflects the same inabilities as the worst crack head on the street.

As individuals, families and businesspeople, we are expected to live our lives within our means and to pay our bills on time, to live by a budget and be properous, contributing citizens giving our time and money to others/causes, but again within a budget because in our society it is deemed “responsible” to run your affairs this way. 

But on the other hand, again, there is always an underlying double message that young people pick up on immediately and this is one major reason lots of young people are apathetic.  They see that the grown ups running things in their world have no more idea of what to do, how to do, when to do than they themselves wrestle with. Some young people become extremely sensitive to the double standards in our society because these “standards” are affecting them or someone very close to them or maybe a role model they admire who has been affected by double standards or injustice because of the double standards. They see clearly and learn pretty quickly that the adults ”in charge” are OK with it because it is still used even when there are laws and open guidelines against it.  Young people have tremendous insight and awareness than most adults will acknowledge. The perception that controlling others will bring positive results is a fallacy.  Control only fosters negative processes even if the control is warranted or seen as necessary. Control of others while not controlling oneself is a prime example of a double standard played out everyday somewhere in families and work all over the world.  Children in many families have little value as indiviuals and they are more about fulfilling some role or agenda the parent/adult has already made a plan about. These types of experiences tend to  stifle a child’s natural gifts. This initial stifling of expression for these children will manifest negatively at different times and rates proportionate to the level of inhibition exerted upon them in their lives. Without substantial changes to real the integrity of the child’s life, the cycle will only repeat and regurgitate discombobulated youth full of betwixt and between(or they could become very militant and too definitive) and they will be easily swayed, led, influenced, you name it. The loss of self through denialism can have horrific consequences for these young lives as they continue to grow and become more mired in their confusion and misunderstandings.  Sadly,  if our society has it’s continued way with things, these young people will soon see the deep divide of what WE SAY as opposed to WHAT WE DO and they too will be on the path to self destruction possibly, or they may choose to vent their anger against others thinking this will make a change. (We see this with Columbine, Virginia Tech) Granted these indiviuals were in the extreme, but they had lost all hope in there lives, hope for a place that is based on truth and justice and equality.  You know, the stuff some people think they have and the stuff some people realize will never be.    

             I did not deserve those beatings. My adopted brothers I am reluctant to defend, although I feel beating is not an answer for any positive outcome.  They were mean, selfish and did horrible things to me most of my life and so I have trouble feeling sorrow for them.  I have no problem pitying them for their loss, (my loss as well but I am willing to lose and walk away when the price is too high to stay) their destruction of us ever sharing the fruits of what a family can truly be in a person’s life.   Those closest to me growing up were dramatic, imposing, physically and emotionally traumatic.  I on the other hand did not develop as they for the very reason I was their target. Well maybe I did learn the self love part but in a preservation kind of way. Developing a personality and persona conducive to warding off the offensive behaviors and treatment that was displayed upon me continually for many years. I do not ask for pity in my memories of bad emotional days. I am desperate for some understanding of what I endured, endure and am still working to undo enough to stop enduring the conditioning and conditioned response that has become my norm. Being able to stop a certain behavior requires practice and failing sometimes.  It is the failing that cuts me off.  Most people I know get umpteen chances at things.  Not me. I have lived with and around and read about every damn day people who break all the rules but yet somehow there they are, not really being punished the same way as others.   I am just as worthy as anyone and I deserve a chance.   I feel people expect me to behave a certain way and to adapt and adopt things as they do and I do not believe in this.  I walk to the beat of a different drummer so to speak and I do not just fit in.  I am want to connect with people on a personal and genuine level.  I don’t do superficial well and I am not inclined to be tactful unless I feel it is warranted. I have no idea where I do fit in in life.  That is one huge reason I am writing my guts and having restless years trying to develop into a similar persona of what I should have been from my beginning.  This time was stolen from me.  It was used up in hurtful ways against me I had no control over.  Do you have children?  Do you drink to get away from all the pressures around you?  Do you escape from your kids or worse yet show them coping skills that may set them up for failure throughout their live’s?  I mean how many people out there know what self honesty is and use it on themselves to walk a road of self responsibility?  I mean come on, really?  Do you?

Alchohol is just as crippling of the human experience as heroin addiction, methamphetamine or even CRACK.   The alchoholics life can be flamboyant, appear as if they drink social levels or even secret their habits.  The result is the same in its crippling of the mind and body. Many an alchoholic has an unstable and changing perspective of things around them. They work hard to continue feeding this habit which allows them to continue getting the emotional and physical charge/change it produces.  Drinking can completely undermine what we are really capable of at that moment only the drinker usually fails to realize or admit this side effect well documented from drinking.  They usaully insist that all is functioning as “normal” and it will be FINE.  Bullshit bullshit, bull fucking shit.  It will not be fine if you drink habitually and rely on it’s effect to feel better, to feel numb or whatever.  When you are not feeling sober just KNOW it affects the people around you a hell of a lot more than your willing to admit.  

Function: noun
Etymology: Greek empatheia, literally, passion, from empathes emotional, from em- + pathos feelings, emotion –

1 : the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it 
2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner ; also : the capacity for this