I AM HUMBLY ASKING YOU TO TAKE A MOMENT AND SEE IF YOU WOULD – HELP ME
I need any small donation you could afford, PLEASE
I am dying, I have been dying, we all die someday, I am not afraid to die, I am more afraid to live, I want the pain anger and lonliness to END and I am ready for my calling. Today, tomorrow, I am ready.
RISK
Doing this is a great risk for me, I do not share my burdens well with others. Mainly because once a person sees the scope of what I deal with and have dealt with they back away. Too overwhelming.
I know you carry burdens of your own! WE ALL DO! Yours are no less important than mine.
I am just too wore out and sick to carry on with mine. My body has given out too.
My body and my mind is being ravaged by several diseases.
FEAR
Losing the ability to care for myself
I will not place that burden on my one and only child who has weathered more than her share of diseased drama and disappointment than most adults. She is not an option. She needs the freedom to spread her wings and fly and work towards her own goals and dreams. I want my meaningless life to give rise to this gift for her, I have little else to offer now. She has been supporting me for the past year. She is 20 years old and she carries a great weight on her shoulders.
She is the only reason I have made it to today. I know all parents brag about their kids, but this is not bragging. My daughter was a gift. Her presence, her inate joy and her truthful innocence, renewed me at a very low point in my life to keep trying, to keep fighting. For 20 years I fought hard with her, for her and because of her but I am tired now, my ability to help her has waned. I have become so despondent that I am going against my secretive and proud nature to ask for the help of others. This blog has put me on very unsure footing and this gives rise to those horrible butterlies in my gut, the ones where I have to have faith and trust in others.
I am pretty green about utilizing this blog well. This is a 1st time for me reaching out to others for help with my sincere goal of managing my final disposal wishes before I pass. Please bear with me on this.
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor, it take a very brave individual to post their life’s experiences to the world in search of help. God Bless
I am a Christian and Christ says to bear one anothers burdens. So I will pray for you that you know peace. Christ says that all those who are weary and heavy laden can come to Him and He will give you rest.
Christ is the Prince of Peace, His peace is not like the world, He died so that you may know Eternal peace with Him in Heaven if you accept Him as your Savior.
With His Love. Leigh
you beautiful, beautiful woman. you have a light about you that shines through the greasy, rotten world of contempt, pain, disease, anger, and confusion. it illuminates through your smile, your eyes, your touch. i know that you are imprisoned by the confines of a disfunctional body, one that is tired beyond compare, worn to the core, but i want you to know that it is not your physical form that i hold so dear. it is what is within that shell. it is your song of speech, your melodious laughter, and the warmth you bring to your child and the people that you touch. know that you are loved, you are cherished, and you are the only you out there. that is all that matters. your uniqueness is incomparable and extraordinary. i wish you could see how much of you is in my heart. i vicariously know your spirit through your daughter and feel close to you through her. you have created the most spectacular human being. and she is so spectacular because she is yours. i see you in her. i love you and am thinking about you always. feel free to call if you want to talk. i only live an hour away and if you need anything-let me know.
Hello,
I just moved to Greensboro NC, if you are in this area, I would be delighted to visit and just talk with you or maybe share a meal like you say you miss. If not, know that I care and will think of you again in this life and my prayers are with you.
Tracey